Feb 2, 2025
KOTA in the Rearview
Persona
Leading up to a competition, I felt like a selfish version of myself. My focus is on saving every ounce of energy for that one day—which, in this case, turned out to be just one heat.
Looking back, I get why I do it. I want to be at my best. Would like to be better at listening to my sister when she needs it, even days leading up to the comp. Or check in on a friend, to see how they are doing. I know it’s about balance, but in the moment, the stress and pressure makes me short-sighted. Sometimes I say things in a way I don’t mean, and later my ego doesn’t let me fix it. With the right time and place, I would go back too apologize.
For my next comp, I want to be focused but not let the buildup take over my entire life—or relationships. The goal is to stay sharp without shutting people out. Stress will always be there, but I want to learn to handle it better and catch myself before I let it take over.
There’s nothing like the energy of the kite fam.
Physique
This wasn’t exactly my peak physical form. I came off a three-month injury, then had another three-week setback, and topped it off with a lovely round of stomach issues. I didn’t talk about it publicly because, let’s face it, it sounds like a long list of excuses. And I truly believe you can still show up and perform on the day, no matter what’s happened. I just… didn’t.
Adrenaline carried me through, but watching my heat back, I can tell I wasn’t in the best headspace. I was “but-checking” tricks I would normally land clean in practice. That has less to do with my body and more to do with how I handled the pressure. Normally, feeling physically strong gives me a confidence boost, and this time I didn’t have that edge. Lesson learned: preparation matters, but so does how you handle your own mind.
I’m trying to remind myself to breathe
Competence
The weeks leading up to KOTA weren’t exactly groundbreaking for my personal growth—unless you count becoming an expert in Googling “how to stop nausea.” By the end of the month, though, I got back into a good rhythm. I listened to some educational podcasts, started a book a friend gave me.
What I’ve realized is that I need better boundaries with my downtime. When the wind isn’t blowing, I tend to lose myself in things that aren’t always helpful. So now I’m working on being more intentional—like only going down rabbit holes if I’ve been productive or limiting distractions when I’m not in the right mindset.
I also took a little social media detox, and wow, what a difference. It’s ironic since social media is such a big part of my career, but stepping back made me feel way more present. I’ve decided to keep it simple: use it for what I need, like updates, inspiration, and connecting with friends. Beyond that, I’m trying to stay off. The pros are great, but the cons can pile up fast—though that’s probably a rant for another day.
I’m a big believer in reflection because it makes you more aware of how you act and why—and helps you decide if that’s who you really want to be. Personally, taking a deep look in the mirror has helped me a lot. I’m not here to tell anyone how to live their life; I think everyone has to figure that out for themselves. But if something in my process resonates, maybe some version of it could work for you, too. It’s definitely not an overnight fix—after a year of reflecting, I’m only now starting to see some ripple effects.
One of my KOTA highlights was definitely receiving this special edition harness from Mystic